I can’t believe it.
According to what me and tha boys can figure, both from what that kraut said to Petey, and what the boys can make outta the papers we found, it’s 1948.
What happened to ma and pa? Little Benny? Damn.
I’m gonna set down what we know, so’s I can figure it out.
We wuz captured in ‘43, in Norway. Apparently that Finnish Priest we wuz hunting trapped us, then the damn Nazis kept us in some kinda suspended animation while they passed us around like a drunk USO girl, performing experiments on us as it suited their sense of humor. Anyways, whiles this wuz all going on the war continued on its merry way. We wuz winning, along about ’45. Patton had been killed, but Monty and the rest were pushing up on Hitler’s boys from the West. Stalin and his goons were knocking at the other door. Didn’t look good for old eraser mustache.
Then the Krauts pulled a dirty trick. Sore losers for sure, they decide to take everybody with them. That same damn Finnish Priest we’d been hunting in Norway somehow summoned up this gigantic serpent. The Worm of Ragnarok, or some such. anyways, it was huge. Not like King Kong huge. Like thousand of miles long huge.
Anyhow, this gigantic serpent rose up outta the north sea, all ready to swallow the world, and there wasn’t nothing we could do about it, see? Regular guns, even battleship cannon, were too puny to scratch it’s hide. It looked bad. But then summa the boys in FDR’s science division pulled out a neat trick: turns out they’d been working on a new bomb. An A-Bomb, they called it. And they’d gotten far enough in their research to make two of them. So, a plan was hatched. General Arnold and some of the flyboys loaded up a new fangled bomber called a B-29 with one of these A-bombs, and then they flew it straight into the serpent’s eye. That killed the damn thing. But the body had been poised to cover europe, and when the thing died it came crashing down, covering most of England, and Germany, as well as Italy and many other parts of the mediterranean! A massive tidal wave, mixed with poisonous snake blood, came shooting across the Atlantic, too, wiping out the whole Eastern seaboard, even Coney Island.
So, that’s where we stand, boys. We’re heading through the Amazon, away from that damn Nazi base we woke up in, trying to make our way back to what’s left of the Allies. Kraut boy says the English, most of their country gone, and the Queen dead, have moved their new government to South Africa. The good old U S of A, down but not out after the tainted serpent wave wiped out or poisoned most of the eastern half of the country, is keeping that remaining bomb as insurance against the possibility the nips will strike back, now that they’ve had time to regain some strength. Only ones who seem to be doing well are the Russkies. Seems the snake’s body, combined with all the other effects of the serpentfall (that’s what Kraut boy says everyone calls it), has made Russia a lot warmer and greener. Also, theres some rumors that Stalin has some new allies. Some kinda ancient giants that woke up for Ragnarok.
Damn Finnish Priests.
Oh well, the good news is that the Nazi bastard says Betty Grable is still alive! Says she made it to San Fran! Maybe we can stop off there on our way to the new US capitol in Sacramento…